Loneliness
In a crowd, but on my own
Surrounded, yet alone
Socialising, wiling time,
With a pasted, hollow smile
What I really think,
I keep within
What I see and feel,
I don’t reveal
Not because I’m not free
To lift my mask of bland conformity,
It’s just that I’m afraid
My thoughts won’t resonate
With the lilting chatter.
And I’d rather not interrupt,
Only to be dubbed
A spoiler of fun,
Boring stick in the mud
And yet,
All the floating and flitting
Leaves my mind spinning
I follow the shifts –
From holiday planning, weight-loss techniques, to gossip,
Work routines, new restaurants, to fashion tips,
Feeling slightly sick…
To what end?
Where are these frothy conversations going?
In all the verbal to-ing and fro-ing,
Where is the quest for meaning,
Divine purpose and being?
Perhaps you’ve been there too
Torn between melting in the stew
Or changing the essential flavour
And risking censure
And maybe like me,
You always give in
To the desire to fit in
If only…
We could forego our obsession
With self-preservation
And show a little more courage
To lead the conversation
It might make all the difference.
Fatema Valji
