Musings of a mum: The plague of perfection

27th Sep 2019
Musings of a mum: The plague of perfection

(Photo: Pixabay Commons)

Aasiya I Versi

Perfection is like a mirage, an illusion that we strive towards. We have externalised its pursuit and rigidly regulated ways to become a ‘perfect parent,’ a ‘perfect worshipper’ or a ‘perfect anything’ at the cost of true peace. The pursuit of perfection is a result of our capitalistic economy, and its guiding ideologies has permeated our thinking.

We strive for self-perfection, which is easy to achieve on our own, but what if our worth was defined by the quality of our relationships and the reflection of our character in those interactions?

The problem lies in words like self-esteem or self-worth. It’s the word ‘self’, whereas we are a sum total of our interactions. Raising a family allows our characters to be reflected in those interactions and quite often pushes (or strengthens) our self-control to its limits.

In a recent gathering of youngish women – all professionally successful and financially secure – were all extremely reluctant to start a family. It left me stunned. The reasons cited were: they were comfortable where they were and didn’t want to go into an unknown arena which motherhood definitely is, and they also weren’t sure whether they ‘knew’ enough to be good parents.

There was an aversion to discomfort, but surely discomfort is also where great personal growth lies. The idea of self-perfection impedes the progress and growth of our communities. Talking to a friend about this, she mentioned we are ‘too educated.’ To me that just stank of old-fashioned aunties blaming educated women for all that went wrong in their lives. But the thought stuck and it got me thinking.

We are as a community far more ‘educated’ by which I mean professional education (through schools and university, etc.). But, it is an education that has been pursued as a means to gain certainty, as opposed to pursuing an education that makes you aware of all that you don’t know.

I think the key arises in being very conscious of the impact that overarching ideologies have on our lives. When we understand that, we are in a better position to sidestep the obstacles to personal growth that it puts forth.

Leave a Comment

What is 3 + 14 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)

Over 120 people attended a landmark conference on the media reporting of Islam and Muslims. It was held jointly by The Muslim News and Society of Editors in London on September 15.

The Muslim News Awards for Excellence 2015 was held on March in London to acknowledge British Muslim and non-Muslim contributions to the society.

The Muslim News Awards for Excellence 2015 was held on March in London to acknowledge British Muslim and non-Muslim contributions to the society.

The Muslim News Awards for Excellence event is to acknowledge British Muslim and non-Muslim contributions to society. Over 850 people from diverse background, Muslim and non-Muslim, attended the gala dinner.

Latest Tweets