As the new year dawned, and I was in the land of my childhood, amidst its’ winding alleyways and questionable scents, I realised home is where my people are. Multiple migrations – I believe – leaves you unable to make connections to the land, but you connect to people and belonging takes on a whole new meaning.

In wanting my children to find belonging in me and the unit I choose to create, I have always thought time to be the biggest factor in my favour, that spending time with my children ‘doing’ things together would serve them and make themselves feel connected to me and us the most. But I was woefully wrong.

In a recent conversation, I told Big bear and Medium bear to articulate when they felt connected, and it wasn’t all the hours that I sat with them through their homework or ate dinner with them or helped them clean their cupboards. It was the time spent watching TV together, cuddled up, or squashing into their beds for a bedtime snuggle, or washing their hair with no rush to get through it.

I have made the mistake of trying to quantify ‘what’ I do for my children, whereas true quiet was in the ‘how’ I do for my children. As my children get older and make eye contact without tilting their heads, I find myself needing to get my personal-professional balance better.

I am vaguely ambitious, but my mantra over the course of the past two years has been to try everything, to enable me to siphon out life pathways that beat to my own pulse and those that I leave to others. In pursuing a lot, I have missed out on precious moments which I should have been more mindful of.

This struggle of professional versus personal is not a new one, and I strongly feel all women – in our current times – go through it. We have commoditised both our mothering and our life’s work. As a mother, I feel I can stand stronger if I can list all the tasks I do for my children.

I have never stopped to gauge how many of those tasks made me and my children feel as if they have come home. Where they have felt loved and cultivated in them a sense of belonging. Same goes with our life’s work. How many times do we stop and think that is our life’s work or employment building peace within? If it isn’t, how do we change tracks to make work ‘work’ for us?

In this new realisation, my goals for the upcoming year are to choose one or two things to pursue and to ignore other opportunities that are bound to come up. I intend to fully realise the peace that lies in the duvet snuggles with my children and loved ones.

Happy new year, dear readers! May your journeys lead you to plentiful love and peace!

Aasiya I Versi