We went on holiday – a staycation, as options abroad seem to feel like an apocalyptic death wish. Just being together in a different setting did us so much good, and I wonder what it is about a change of scenery that brings the famwich (related to the word, sandwich – geddit?) together again.

I feel it is the absence from distractions of our daily chores, watching them relaxed and playing without a care in the world that made me realise this is what it is all about. In the absence of all else that distracts me, being ‘there’ with my children reminded me of who they are, their spirited nature that I often brush aside in the pursuit of my to-do list.

Having said that, Baby bears, Pappa bear and I had a beautiful time. The weather held up, and parking and all that went with it worked in our favour. The last hotel that we visited had an interesting layout; it had common spaces with a pool table and board games where we used to all sit and play games.

I strongly feel, pursuing common spaces and events that bring people together, holds the key to resting my mind, healing my hurts, allowing me to grow beyond them.

This month has been filled with conversations with people from all different walks of life, and I have come away from these conversations thinking everyone nurse hurt and struggles of some sort. They reside in our life like unseen bumps and trip us up when we least expect it, and they are quite often triggered by small words or actions. These unseen hurts are real, and it is infinitely important to work on healing them.

But how do you heal your hurts? How do you ensure that it never hurts you again? I think the answer (for me) lies in healing others. Creating capacity within myself to listen to someone else’s hurts, creating spaces for others to find rest, and finding my own experiences mirrored in theirs; that I realise everyone seems to struggle with something.

Not that I feel my hurts or obstacles are of a lesser extent, but realising that everyone – no matter their circumstance—seems to encounter a struggle of some sort.

There is – for sure – no, one duct tape answer, but it leads me to believe that it is a futile effort to fret and desperately try to change my external circumstances. The answers lie within me.

I come back to this conclusion time and time again. When helping the Baby bears study or helping them overcome obstacles; I seem to need to take the time to listen and talk through their fears, thoughts and aspirations. It is like an intertwined collection of thoughts and mindsets that need to be quietly and very slowly detangled to enable them – and myself—to walk beyond them.

The frustrating part of this aspect of development is that it is unseen and therefore uncalibrated, and we still have not managed to measure the full impact of these unseen moments of development—quite often to the detriment of our children.

Aasiya I Versi