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Musings of a mum: Variety is the spice of life

29th Oct 2021
Musings of a mum: Variety is the spice of life

Variety is the spice of life – or so says the flamboyant being in a work of fiction. I hate to admit it, but he (or she) might be correct, but not in the sense you may imagine it to be.

In our realities as multidimensional beings, we will only feel at peace when we see ourselves or an aspect of us reflected at us. We have to pursue spaces where we feel seen and heard, and also to pursue spaces or people that we may aspire to reflect.

As Big Bear’s 11+ exams finished and kids were back in school, my life got into a comfortable rhythm of the children going to school, and I gained predictable time to lean on. The latter of the week is dedicated to taking Baby Bear to museums and making the most of the year ahead before he starts school next September.

I keep on asking myself what motivates me to look after my children, and why do I find myself exhausted by the end of it? If I’m brutally honest, a sense of duty motivates a lot of my ‘work.’

That sense of duty doesn’t seem to be enough to power through all that needs to be done, as worthy causes that need help constantly surround us. Duty as a sole motivator is draining but coupled with love it allows me to tap into a deeper reservoir of energy and counteracts the drain that continuous duty brings about.

I asked an individual who leads a ground-breaking international charity about his ability to keep going despite the (constant) hurdles and obstacles that his projects come across. He mentioned this concept of ‘dutiful love.’

He elaborated that yes, it was a sense of duty that motivated him, but he wouldn’t be able to keep going if there was no love involved, and that it was love for fellow human beings that allowed him to bring his best work to the table day in, day out.

If he fell asleep without being tired, he would question whether he had done enough, which leads me to believe it is not exhaustion that I need to fear, but the possibility of not doing everything that I could in any scenario that comes my way.

All in all, a sense of acting on ‘dutiful love’ may bring about a sense of exhaustion, as the work around a family or community – however, you choose to define it – never ends. Cultivating love – which requires allocated time and space – will keep the exhaustion at bay.

So, for those of us that despair that work will never end, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it will never end. Know that playing even a minor role, fuelled by duty and love, will bring a sense of peace and will allow us to see reflections of ourselves in others.

So go on, don’t be afraid to take a small step towards a better reality. Everything else will follow suit.

Aasiya I Versi

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