The Prophet found revelation in the cave, Buddha found Nirvana under the Bodhgaya tree. Musa found the Lord in a secluded space in the mountains.
However, I cannot get away from the fact that all of them walked away from their home to achieve their version of peace.
As lofty and noble as that is, mine cannot be found in seclusion. The closest I come to solitary peace is the quiet I find under my orchid plant which sits above my toilet.
At this stage in my life, I could not find peace in seclusion however much I tried. My peace is reflected in the peace of my children and the people that I love. Call it the ‘butterfly reality.’
In running after the peace of unachievable solitude, what if we redefine what it may look like. Not one based on solo pursuit but a communal one?
If, I look back at the times when I have found the most ‘stillness’ is when everyone around me is as happy and as peaceful as I am. Which brings me to the conclusion that my definition of Stillness — or Nirvani — (as I like to call it) is fundamentally different?
Nirvan-i is a peace that is achieved through multiple paradigms, and it is far more difficult to achieve and retain which makes it more valuable. It is the quiet found in a messy kitchen, but well-fed children.
It is the quiet found in the victory of a potty-trained child. It is the quiet found in the language of the eyes when there is no time for words. It is the quiet found in forgiveness after unfathomable hurt.
Nirvan-i is liberating, fleeting, joyful but very noisy.
It is this idea that my actions should hurt the least number of individuals. How can we achieve a true inner peace at the cost of hurting another person?
To me, it goes back to this idea, that everything that women do, our practices, our goals (personal and professional) is defined by men who historically have not had to consider the realities of their dependents.
Women on the other hand, who have historically been primary caregivers, are better at sussing out the unsaid and therefore encounter different realities; and yet we are compelled to follow an ideal defined by men simply because we have not formulated an effective and powerful alternative.
Women haven’t evolved out of their caregiving roles, and I don’t think that we should. That is not to say that men can’t or be better at it, but to be able to come to a realisation that our collective ability to care for others beyond our own is our greatest strength.
There is power in that reality which is far more sustainable than what we have right now.If, there is anything that Covid-19 has taught us is that we are as strong as the weakest amongst us.
Our worst-hit nations have been those who haven’t cared (or been able to care) about the weakest within their borders. If something so small, can wreak such havoc over the world, what can a force of empathy weald over the world?
Would we then be able to construct a better reality?
Aasiya I Versi
