I got invited to a wedding! It was more of an after-party, but there was cake, food and family. The children all went crazy in the end. It was all utterly beautiful.
Weddings have also changed in this era. They have become small, intimate and a stark contrast to our big fat biryani laden spreads of the past. I find myself liking the small gatherings (only when I am invited), compelling me to get into conversations with my fellow guests as there are no places to hide in small crowds.
This new reality, which is quickly becoming a norm, is also making weddings a lot more affordable and there isn’t a pressure to organise these big gatherings, which cost so much but mean so little..
On that same note, Covid-19 has changed the way I entertain. Our home has always bustled with big gatherings, tables laden with food, and a happy bustle of people talking and making connections. I have never minded it, loved it and relished the challenge of feeding and entertaining a big crowd. It was an excuse to get my home extra clean and there is the joy of seeing people relax in my home. I never actively pursued close conversations, as I felt I didn’t need them. My own company was enough.
Fast forward 18 months of an array of lockdown measures. I crave get-togethers.I have come to realise that we (my experience is limited to my family and I), are multi-faceted human beings with an array of strengths and weaknesses which can only be seen and built upon by an array of human beings beyond our immediate bubbles.
That can only happen when there is depth, safety and understanding in relationships that are built over an extended period.
In order for us as individuals and as a community to move forward, we need to build on our ability to learn from each other and make it a priority to nurture and prioritise these connections.
Big bear will start secondary school soon, and I am excited for her journey ahead. I want her to know that friends are wonderful and a life-giving force, provided the principles that you live life by are aligned with each other. Good friends are those that see you for who you are, but also for what you could possibly become enabling you to pursue your greatest strengths.
These deeper relationships anchor me, provide mental caves to retreat into, and allow me to become a better mother. Being in (a multitude of) places where I am understood gives me the capacity to understand my Bears and perhaps that is one of the biggest lessons, I will take away from the Covid experience: the importance, and an awareness of the impact of my deeper relationships.
I pray big Bear takes these lessons with her on the journey into secondary school.
Aasiya I Versi